In a nutshell, Ferber says you can teach your baby to soothe himself to sleep when he's physically and emotionally ready. He recommends following a warm, loving bedtime routine and then putting your baby in bed awake and leaving him/her (even if he/she cries) for gradually longer periods of time. The point of this method is to successfully teach a child to go to sleep on his/her own.
Ferber recommends waiting 3 minutes, then going in to check on the child, patting him/her on the back to reassure them that you are still there and that it is okay for them to go to sleep. You should gradually increase the time to 5, 10, then 12 minutes until he/she falls asleep. After a few days to a week of gradually increasing the waiting time, the theory goes, most babies learn to fall asleep on their own, having discovered that crying earns nothing more than a brief check from you.
(http://www.babycenter.com/0_the-ferber-method-demystified_7755.bc )
I thoroughly researched this method beforetrying it out. I'm the type of person that researches EVERYTHING. I rarely ever make huge purchases before reading reviews, etc. I even consulted with my online friend, Trinity, who had gotten results from this method. I had my whole plan worked out before even trying it out. The research paid off, because I was skeptical at first. I admit, like a lot of parents, that I thought that this method was cruel and that my baby would hate me for it. I've learned now, that this can be done in a loving way and that the results are worth the few minutes of guilt that you feel as your baby sit in his/her room crying their little hearts out.
The first night that we tried it, I fed Aaryn her usual dinner of 4 ozs of fruit and veggies at around 6pm. We all played for about 2 hours, then I got both girls a bath and into their pajamas. I gave Aaryn a 5 oz bottle of milk, just so I would know that she was not hungry. After she finished her bottle, I layed her down and braced myself for the worst. She cried and even stood up in her crib wanting out. I went to the living room and watched the clock and waited for 3 minutes to be up. After the 3 minutes, I went in to check on her. She was still crying. I put on so nighttime music from her toy puppy, Violet, and left the room. I repeated this, waiting 5, then 10 minutes. Finally, after a total of about 30 minutes, she was asleep...and she slept ALL NIGHT. I had to wake her up the next morning.
The next night, we followed the same routine. She only cried for about 10 minutes this time. Each night thereafter, she has cried less and less before finally falling asleep. Last night was the sixth night in a row that she has fallen asleep and slept all night on her own. We're at the point now where she only whines for about 2 minutes before going to sleep.
Ferber acknowledges that this method will not work for every child, but it worked for us. My only regret is that I didn't try this sooner. We've all rediscovered that a full night of sleep equals happier mornings. Did I mention that Richard Ferber is a GENIUS?
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